Portly pop puppet Charlotte Church is believed to have gone into hiding yesterday, after revelations that she is battling a dangerous addiction to flour.
A source who shops in the same branch of Kwik Save as Miss Church, reported seeing a short brunette female with massive lung capacity, somewhere between the ages of 21 (Charlotte's age) and 65, sweeping an entire shelf of the powdery substance into her trolley before throwing a £50 note at a member of staff and running from the store, shouting 'hold the doors Gav!'.
Concerns have already been voiced about that star by her friends and family, after she celebrated her 21st birthday by filling a paddling pool with self-raising and having a dust bath. Following Miss Church's addiction to butter the previous year, she vowed never to go near baked goods or their ingredients again. She even toured local schools to talk to pupils about the dangers of fairy cakes.
But it would now seem that the star has gone back on her word, and is putting the recreational pleasures of the white stuff before her career, health, and shares in Mr Kipling.
2007-03-02 @ 11:28